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The basis of rapport is that when people are like each other, they like each other. When people are not like each other, they don't like each other.

When you like someone, you are willing to assist them in having whatever they want. And when a prospect likes you they are more willing to make a purchase.

When 38% of all communication is tone of voice, and 55% is physiology (Mehrabian, A and R. Ferris (1967), 'Inference of attitudes from non-verbal communication in two channels', The Journal of Counselling Psychology, 31, pp 248-52), most communication is outside of our conscious awareness. A tremendous opportunity exists for communication outside of our normal channels, and that's what rapport is all about.

To be a master communicator, you will get the best out of your prospects, customers, staff and business relationships, when you employ their primary method of communication or primary modality.

Too often, however, communication takes place in a system where people are unconsciously mismatching modalities.

Step 1: Behaviour Breeds Behaviour.

To start building rapport match the modality the other person is in.

If you're meeting with someone, for example, who is in high visual, and you're not quite there, sit up in your chair, breathe from the top of your lungs, and be excited. Or at least act in a way that matches what they're doing. On the other hand, if you're meeting with someone who is auditory, you want to slow down a bit, modulate your voice more, and "listen, really listen." If you're meeting with someone who is kinaesthetic, slow waaay dooown. And talk to them about feelings. Actually change your voice tone so that it matches theirs, and really "get a sense of it."

Step 2: Mirror Image.

The next step in building rapport is physical mirroring of the individual's physiology. Actually physically copying their posture, facial expressions, hand gestures and movements, and their eye blinking will cause their body to say unconsciously to their mind, "Hey, (s)he's like me!" It's undeniable to the nervous system, in other words they won’t consciously be aware of you changing, their subconscious will detect and make the assumption and communicate the likeness to the individual.

Step 3: Voice Control.

Thirdly match their voice: The tone, tempo, timbre (quality of the voice), and the volume. You can also match their key words. Perhaps they often say, "Actually” or “Absolutely”. You can use it in a sentence several times. Say it back to them.

Step 4: Breath Harmony.

Now match their breathing. You can actually pace someone's breathing by breathing at exactly the same time as they do (matching the in and out breath). By matching their breathing, by pacing their breathing, you can then begin to lead them out of the representational system they're in, into another one.

Step 5: Content Handling.

Next you want to match the size of the pieces of information (chunk size or level of abstraction) they deal with. If a prospect or customer usually deals in the big picture, they will probably be bored with the details. On the other hand if they’re into details they’ll find that there's not enough information to deal with, if you only give them the big picture. So make sure that you are matching the content chunks that your prospect or customer deals with.

Step 6: Common Ground.

This is what most people would generally associate rapport as being. When people first meet, often their early relationship is about matching common experiences, common interests, background, beliefs and values, their ideologies and common associations. Listen to your prospect or customer, appropriately probe the information they disclose to you and find commonalities to build instant rapport.

Step 7: Comfort Zone.

It is one of the basic human needs to feel wanted and to belong, that’s why clubs, associations and organisations will always exist. So make your prospects feel special and ‘a part of your organisation’ even before they become a customer. It won’t be long before they commit to you because they feel like they belong already. Continue the theme when they become a customer and they won’t think of looking elsewhere. Create an appropriate ‘family’ feeling to give your prospects and customers a sense of belonging because you’ll gain their trust, loyalty and long term business.

Control the sale now by using these 7 steps and master rapport.